I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
