I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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