When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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