is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
