Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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