do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am one with the molecules
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
