You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
