We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
