Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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