me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize