Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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