That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
