you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
