all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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