So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
