I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
