The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
