Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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