So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
