If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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