he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
