Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Pants are for mortals
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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