her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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