Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
