We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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