I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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