i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
