We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
