I got chris browned last night
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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