Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
