I hate all girls vehemently.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize