What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
