All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
only you would photoshop your dick
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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