Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
