Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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