Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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