last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
