It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
