five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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