I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
