I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
