Me too!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
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So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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