Will you blow on my dice?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
