his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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