We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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