I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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