Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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