some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
