I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
