You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
