then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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