I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
