woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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