i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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