did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
