You smell like stripper and shame
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize