worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
